lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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