You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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