the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
