i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
