Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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