Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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