Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize