i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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