new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize