you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
