The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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