Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
