I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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