Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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