He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
