Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
