This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
