no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
