So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
