He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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