How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
