she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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