He had one of those small greek statue penises
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
