we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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