I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
