what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
