Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
