he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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