The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
