did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize