She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
50% drunk capacity currently
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
