i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my being single is dangerous.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
