Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
