ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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