fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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