Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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