You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i out mim tonsoeep
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