I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I can't turn off my feet"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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