Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
