just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
