You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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