The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
