K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize