I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
