Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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