I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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