Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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