I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
