oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
