WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
