I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
why is half of my head shaved?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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