i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
