Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Everclear isn't food dammit
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