Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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