Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
