I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize