Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
People in love make me want to vomit
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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