Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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