GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
