happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
