but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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