Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
my being single is dangerous.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
