just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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