but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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