your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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